Do Goddesses Tweet?

I’ve been doing some routine research on online business marketing tools for LifeBliss Solutions as business people periodically do.  Twitter keeps popping up.  I have come so close to signing up for an account just to see how this thing works.  Each time I stop just short of putting my name in the box by the notion that there is something inherently amiss with the whole idea that I would give a rat’s ass about what anybody does every moment of the day.  I just don’t.  I am sure I would not “follow” anyone.  Equally amiss would be that I am so narcissistic as to believe anybody in the world wants to latch on to my ass and follow me around for 24 hours of my day, every day.  To me this tool seems like something for a bunch of weak losers with low self esteem who need constant reassurance that they are [fill in the blank with worthy, interesting, cool, fabulous, etc.], celebrity groupies, and teenagers.

Who has time to tweet or have their ass twiggled by some random strangers all day long if they are busy living life?  You can miss so much of the moment if you are fumbling around with some electronic gadget instead of absorbing all the stimulus in the present moment.  And please, nobody write to me claiming that they are “multi-taskers”.  Multi-tasking always diminishes the full experience of the moment, PERIOD.  When your eyes are focused on a little bitty screen then the beautiful scenery around you is nothing but a sideshow in peripheral vision.  While your fingers are busy tippy-tapping on a keyboard, they can not be running through your lover’s hair.

I don’t want to tweet.

8:00 am – I am late, scurrying to the shower

8:01 am – Damn, there’s a pimple on my cheek

8:06 am – Wait, I’ve got to take a crap

8:18 am – Where’s my sock?

8:50 am – Should I have a smoothie or a latte?

WTF!!!!?????????  This seems excrutiatingly trite, irritating, and tedious!

I came so close to being converted when I read stories of people increasing web page traffic exponentially with Twitter.  So I took another look and read some techie articles to educate myself because boy, would I love to have a million viewers a day to my site.  But the idea as I interpret it has been that as a business you can spy on your competitors, which does not appeal to me because my services are so unique and because when you are working from a philosophy of plentitude rather than scarcity it just seems like a waste of my time.  I also learned that I can spam my followers to death.  Well, Goddesses and potential Goddesses abhor spam, and they are so intelligent that they can spot it a mile away and surely would not encourage spam abuse by spending money on spammer’s products and services.   Let’s face it:  My name is not Willie Loman and I don’t sell widgets.  I don’t have suppliers and secret proprietary potions.  LifeBliss Solutions is what it is and that’s that.

The last thing I learned is that Twitter is a great tool for networking with both potential clients and peers and generates word of mouth promotion.  Hmm, sounds good, ethical, and not unhealthy to me and holds some promise.  Which brings me to the key question:  Do Goddesses tweet?  Goddesses don’t need to tweet, the same way that we don’t need to wear t-shirts that say “Goddess” on the front. Goddesses are busy, self-assured, taking disposable time to enjoy the present moment i.e. smelling flowers, dancing, riding a bike, reading a book, laughing, admiring art, savoring chocolates, connecting with real interesting humans in real life…etc.  Why would a Goddess tweet, when she does not need others to validate her existence?  Pray, tell me this so I can confirm once and for all that besides the fact that I won’t like it, that there’s no logical economic reason for me to tweet.  I probably will not tweet but I just want to have all the information before I make the final decision.

The Most Important Beauty Product

I love beauty products.  I am sure I have done enough research about beauty products and makeup to earn a Ph.D. on the subject.  I could spend all day in the beauty store and only come out to eat.  However, when I find an excellent product I can stick with it unless something changes, unlike many cosmetics junkies who one day claim to have found the holy grail and less than a week later are on to something else.

The most important beauty product hands-down is sunblock.  It is imperative to use sunblock every day because it prevents skin cancer, hyperpigmentation, burns, and the breakdown of skin cells that leads to permanent wrinkles.  If you don’t want to look like a troll someday, you have no choice but to wear sunblock daily unless you never go outside.  But I HATE sunblock!  It smells bad, it is too thick and greasy, or, in the case of the nice mineral ones, leaves a chalky white cast on brown skin.  I have exotic brown looking but normal/combination sensitive rosacea-prone pale red-haired Northern European acting skin, which is hard to protect from the sun.  For YEARS I had been satisfied using Purpose Redness Reducing Moisturizer SPF 30, except at the pool or beach because it is not water resistant ( I have a different, thicker SPF 45 for that).  All of a sudden this past fall this same product began to break out my skin with a crunchy red itchy rash.  I stopped using it for a while since it was winter and my day job prevented me from seeing the light of day anyway.  But now with spring arriving and longer days I tried it again, hoping maybe my face forgot about the abuse it took from that sunblock before.  But no, the itchy rash is rearing up again, dammit!  I asked my dermatologist(s) to recommend a sunblock that is:

• fragrance free
• lightweight and easily absorbed
• broad spectrum
• portable and sanitary–not packaged in a jar
• moderately priced
• gentle but not zinc or titanium oxide-only (because of the white chalky film)
• does not leave a shiny sheen
• SPF 20-30
• doesn’t burn eyes or stink too badly
• water resistant (ok- wishful thinking)
• can be worn under makeup

but they seem to find this topic way too boring.  All they say is find an SPF 30 that I like.  But here are hundreds of them!!!!  Even the ones with the best reviews are horrible. Now I am hunting again.  According to my research this time, which consists mainly from reviews by Paula Begoun, I have 3 good viable choices:  Neutrogena Age Sheild SPF 30, Neutragena Active Breathable Sunblock SPF 30, or Ultra Dry Touch Sunblock SPF 30.  I am headed to the drugstore today to smell, feel, and read the lables of the products.  I am not in any way promoting these products.  I am promoting the use of daily facial sunblock.  I encourage everyone to find the right sunblock for themselves.  I do however, recommend my most reliable beauty product information resource, Paula Begoun aka “The Cosmetics Cop”.  Check out her website and books for  comprehensive objective information on hundreds of makeup and skin care products.

On a Mission

This is my third week on the plan with the weight loss doctor.  Just like before, it’s working.  I am exercising too.  On my way

So here's my BEFORE photo--Hahahahaha!

to the exercise class I saw some free books on a stoop, which is a fairly common thing where I live.

I spotted the Perricone Prescription book and scooped it right up.  So many times I have contemplated buying that book but just never did.  (Thank you, neighbor!)  I had used some of the concepts from my previous shape-up a few years back when I got into the best physical shape of my life, since I was about 20.  The eating plan I followed was  basically the South Beach Diet with some Perricone ideas thrown in.  I am never an advocate for silly faddish temporary “diet” plans.   These are sensible guidelines for eating for great health, enhanced beauty, and reduced fat stores.  The book provided a little inspiration.  It provided another resource for my quest to be fabulous.  It was a sign to keep going, I’m on the right track.

In less than a year I’ll be 40 years old.  I don’t feel apprehensive about it the way I did about turning 30.  I freely own my age thanks to the wisdom and authority is has brought me.  I know everything.  (At least that’s what my husband says).  I do what I want and don’t give a rat’s ass what others think about it.  I don’t feel any pressure or worry at all about turning 40, it is just another year.  But just knowing how people typically react to a 40th birthday makes me want to start a new (well maybe not) project.  Fabulous at 40.  I think it will be so much fun to do my own mini extreme makeover. There will be NO surgical face lift and NO liposuction and I won’t be changing my style to look like a wannabe supermodel.  It’s gonna be authentic Lisa, new and improved, and sustainable!  YEAH!  Of course this means I’ll have to have a party.  Any reason will do.

Having a Coach is Work!

It is the first week with my coach and I’ve already had two homework assignments.  You have to make time to do these things.  The best thing is that these assignments are interesting and eye-opening, unlike school homework.  When we have something to do it is so easy to get all caught up in thinking in terms of what needs to be done, to the extent that it can become overwhelming and then NOTHING gets done.  Coaches ask a million questions.  Often, getting the task done is hidden beneath all those questions.  I feel some energy bubbling up!

Practicing what I Preach: Start Small

This morning I woke up feeling terrible.  Unhappy to go to the office, my temporary place of captivity where people do not always respect one another and where I am forced to hide my real self to preserve it from various harms.  I got out of bed and went downstairs to my chilly studio where I give workshops, parties, and bellydance lessons.  I lit a candle and an incense and put on some music.  Not quite the right music, because I couldn’t find that particular cd but I don’t have all day long.  I sat quietly gazing at the flame while my mind continued to race.   Then I let my attention rest on the dancing flame, which was being driven by a serious draft from the fireplace flue (I gotta take care of that).  Then away again my mind went, and then back to the flame again.  I imagined myself inside that flame.  Dancing within the flame and I began to feel the peace that I always felt when I meditated before seeing a client.  I always would meditate for a little while to bring myself out of any worries, problems, or concerns and to the present moment so that I can truly be here for the client.  I reminded myself of those warm days with the windows open and the fig tree swaying in the breeze when I was in charge of my world and generally content.

I got up, put out the candle, and sat down to write for a few minutes before I start my day.

A Pleasurable Start: Change Need not be Painful

A few weeks ago I discovered a flat tire on my car when I was headed for work.  Oh, well so I took the train.  I was so happy to discover that the train took about the same amount of time as driving and since I hate driving I took the subway to work every day since.  Yay, now I get to read, listen to my music, daydream, and walk through my neighborhood.

I was walking home this week and lo and behold!  The crocus are here!  Yes, in mid February.  I was inspired by the sign.  To me crocus flowers signify the coming of spring and spring fever.

I did call the life coach and set things up for next week.  In the meantime, I invited several of the strongest, smartest, most beautiful and fun lady friends over for brunch Sunday.  And they all rsvp’d yes!  Usually when I have a brunch the casual laughing and hanging out goes on and on into the evening and I make dinner and I love that.  Sometimes brunch ends at midnight!

So that’s the beginning.  I will be surrounded by love and beauty and share some delicious pancakes with warm berry compote, a vegetable frittata, smoked salmon, garlic and rosemary roasted potatoes, chocolate fondue, and mimosas.  A perfect way to start the week and encourage a renewal of sensuality.  Besides, I am famous for finding any reason in the world to have a party.

A New Day

Hello everybody, it’s been a long absence. But here I am again in the dead of winter, before the emergence of the crocus flowers, after two

Crocus Flowers from The Door Garden Blog

MAJOR family losses (my dad and grandmother), and while being sucked dry of all creativity by an office day job that I took to lessen the blow of slow business in this withering economy. I have been feeling sorry for myself, and rightfully so for the past few months. I realize that I have stopped in my tracks, broken my stride, and been stuck, not going anywhere. Is this surprising, coming from a skilled lifestyle consultant? Perhaps. But it shouldn’t be. Everybody experiences the doldrums from time to time.

I haven’t had the energy or desire to write, create a mosaic project, dance, or countless other important activities that make me happy and keep me balanced. I haven’t been eating properly or making time for daily exercise and I had to buy some new pants because the old ones are too tight. I just finished the last of some bbq potato chip crumbs on the sofa, at 8am.  What happened to the sensual Goddess Lisa?

Ok that’s enough.  As a lifestyle consultant I know exactly what I need to do, where my weaknesses are, and what to do about it.  All it takes is the honest and true readiness for change.  My first course of action is to CONTACT MY LIFE COACH.  Yes, all great life coaches have life coaches.  (A lifestyle consultant is a form of life coach).  This is a testament to the fact that life coaching should not be considered to be a fix for broken people.  Life coaching is for people who are ready to make changes.  As a lifestyle consultant I already know a large portion of what needs to be done here–make time for fun, increase my intake of fresh fruits and vegetables, schedule exercise time, incorporate incidental physical activity throughout the day, and get up and write in my blog on Saturday or Sunday mornings.   My life coach is going to provide much much more than the intellectual answers to problems.  She will back me up, encourage me, and put a virtual foot in my ass when I need it.  She knows my particular buttons to press, what makes me tick, and the concepts to bring to my attention when my own ego, which prefers the status quo comes in with critical discouragement.

Now this is not a shameless advertisement for my services as a lifestyle consultant, though I welcome you to call me if you are ready for change and are willing to invest in your success.

I am going to share with you Goddesses my journey back from a mess to fabulous.  I will chronicle my challenges and successes right here on Passion Fruit.  Your attention will help to keep me accountable and hopefully benefit those of you who either are thinking about change but not quite ready for it yet (there’s absolutely NO shame in that, your time will come) or for the Goddesses who don’t have the resources at this moment to invest in coaching or lifestyle consulting and wish to start work on your own.  Reading this chronicle is by no means a substitute for getting your own life coaching, because no matter how similar we may be each person is vastly different in his or her own individual needs, quirks, and triggers.  Not everything that works for me will work for you unless you are my clone.

So let’s go!  I’ve just taken the first step.  I promise to post again next week with an update and/or some literary bric-a-brac.

Sorry for Slacking

Hello Everybody,

Yes, I know it has been more than a month since I posted.  I have been busy doing other important things.  This is important too so I am back.

Another issue is that I am an addict.  Yes, I need to go to rehab.  The first step to getting better is admitting that there is a problem, right?  I have NEVER touched crack, cocaine, meth, prescriptions, or any dangerous illegal substance.  I am addicted to CNN Election Coverage.  I get goose bumps when I see the electoral college map.  Every day I have to go on CNN.com and play with the interactive electoral map.  I have withdrawal symptoms when I miss Anderson Cooper.  What is going to happen when the election is over and the votes are counted?  TV sucks.  I am stocking up on books from Amazon so I won’t drive myself crazy.

Now this is not a political blog so I have tried (unsuccessfully) to keep political writing to a minimum.  Oh well.  This is the most exciting election of my lifetime and I have only one more week to be obsessed.  Bear with me.

I’m a Fatty: Heathy, Happy, Juicy and Delicious

This is not another rah-rah fat acceptance article to convince the morbidly obese, sedentary, extreme eaters that they are somehow sexy, healthy, and fabulous. At the beach this week I noticed I have put on a few pounds since last year. My tummy protrudes disproportionately (and always has) from the rest of my body.

Juicy Photo by Charisse Williams

It gets much worse when I gain a little extra fat. Genetics plays a role in the shape of my body, but is not the whole story.

A person’s size and shape is a result of a very complex formula that includes genetics, activity level, types and variety of activities done, quantity of food, quality of food, proportional balance of daily protein/carbohydrate/fat intake, hormones, age, gender, and overall health, to name a few factors. This is why the one size fits all weight plans don’t fit most, and why the range of ideal body shapes and sizes is actually very broad. We in the West are under the false belief that if we eat right and exercise that we would all be size 2, when in reality people who eat right and exercise can be a size 2 or size 20 and everywhere in between. The actual numbers her are based on my own unscientific assumption, only to be used as an example, not to be taken as a literal fact, but I’m sure you get the idea.

I am a professional dancer who performs once and teaches twice a week. I work out at the gym 4-5 times per week. I walk or ride my bike to the store often and my friends consider me a high energy person. I live in a 3-story house and run up and down the stairs many times a day. I know others with similar activity levels to mine who are skinny as a rail, which, btw, I honestly prefer not to be.

I am not an emotional eater, who dashes a candy bar in times of daily stress, nor am I a high-fat processed food junkie who eats from a fast food restaurant at least once a week. I love whole, unprocessed foods like fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I am no vegan or vegetarian and although I care about what I put into my body, I have no food restrictions. Although I don’t always eat in moderation, I never binge. I love food. I eat.

I am plump and juicy like a ripe grape in the summertime and not a miserable emaciated stick figure with sunken cheeks because I am a happy person who has fun. I am probably a little fatter than my ideal because I veered off my normal habits a bit recently. But there is no need for me to fret about it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, but just to get back on track and everything will fall into place. Thank goodness I am not paid as a supermodel or a famous actress to perpetuate women’s self loathing and to maintain standardized image that some woman spend their lives trying to imitate, because I would be under constant stress of being fired! I am paid to help people bring joy and happiness into their lives so I just look the way I happen to look by taking care of my health and enjoying life. Looking good is important to me, but equally so is feeling good and living well.

What is your ideal weight, size, shape, look? Here is the formula:

• Have some fun every day

• Don’t eat anything you don’t like

• Eat the rainbow (colorful fruits and vegetables) every day

• Generally eat real, whole, unprocessed foods

• If you love a fatty, sugar, processed junk food, don’t deprive yourself. Eat it every now and then.

• Be active in other ways than deliberate exercise (like a rat in a wheel)–dance, bike, play rope, skate, goof off with your kids

• Make sure that the amount of attention you pay to body image is equal to the amount of attention you dedicate developing your brilliant mind; having fun; enhancing skin, hair, tooth, and nail health and beauty; and being prosperous.

If you consciously and consistently do these things for several months, the exact number of months depending on how close to or far from your ideal body size and shape you are when you start, you will wind up at your ideal size and shape. If you do this and never become (notice I did not say “achieve”) size 2, then join the other 97% of us and be happy.

Bad Fake Food

Oooh, I hate bad food.  I promised myself never to eat bad food because it is a waste of calories.  But I met some friends from out of town this weekend near the airport before their flight out.  I am not familiar with the airport suburbia and the fabulous restaurant we chose online was closed down.   The closest place was this awful chain joint that serves fake-ass Mexican food and we were hungry and didn’t have enough time for exploration. It sucked so bad that despite the great company my family came home hungry and cranky.  My ten year old daughter theorized that she had too much saturated fat, which was likely true because she could not bear to order anything faux Mexican so she had a corn dog and tater tots!  This is a child who eats fresh mozzarella, tomatoes, and basil on ciabatta!  She has never been programmed to distinguish “kid food” from good food, thank goodness.