Busyness vs. Laziness

Lisa shaking the booty

Why is everybody so busy? Why is it that I am forced to book an appointment 6 weeks in advance to have lunch with a buddy? Why do we need those cheezy morning-show “experts” to tell us that our kids are stressed out by running from soccer to ballet to a birthday party to piano lessons to book club all on a Saturday afternoon!

Hello, people, slow down and smell the flowers, taste the tea, shake your booty, pick your nose, etc. What ever happened to spontaneity? How about an impromptu cookout? Well this is not actually laziness, it is sensuality. Some folks are impressed with this all-out marathon of nonstop activities, but who really cares? Why not pay attention to what pleases your sense of taste, smell, touch, hearing, or sight, and just do it in the moment?

I am sensual. Maybe I am considered lazy. Sure, I get into trouble for every now and then for skipping an occasion or event that I think is not fun, but it’s the price I pay for sanity. I think Saturdays are for sleeping in, reading a book, conducting kitchen experiments, strolling to the open air market at no specified time, and whatever else makes me feel good. There’s nothing wrong with organized sports and birthday parties, they are great if you actually enjoy them and as long as they are not strictly obligatory, and as long as they don’t get in the way of time to smell the flowers or shake my booty.

Goddesses in Bikinis

It’s Time for Change

Yesterday my sis called me, so excited to tell me that she’s made the decision to buy and wear a bikini this year. Now she’s never really been fat except when she was a baby/toddler and when she was pregnant. But she is a normal sized woman who has three children, the youngest only one year old. Not a skinny little stick, and by no means overweight. She confessed that she never owned a bikini since she was about 3 years old. We went over some valid points about irrational unwritten bikini law, which by the way, only exists in the United States.

You don’t need to be skinny to look good in a two-piece. Haven’t you ever seen a bag of bones sagging and looking a hot mess in a bikini? Haven’t you ever seen a fit, plump woman (considered fat by U.S. standards) looking delicious in a bikini? Now this is not to say that all skinny women look bad and all juicy women look good. It’s highly individual.

It is most important that the swimsuit is flattering to the wearer, not the size or shape of the wearer, and not an attempt to hide something. Remember those ridiculous color-block suits of the 1980s? Some women look more fabulous in a skirt-kini than a string bikini. In some cases it just doesn’t matter as much. For example, some Goddesses have prominent round protruding bellies. Does it really make a difference whether it is in a one piece or a two piece? You still see the belly just the same. Unless the one-piece is a girdle-type suit like Miraclesuit, that squeezes the belly in a few inches, it will in no way modify or conceal the belly so what difference does it make? What if the woman with the big round protruding belly has a beautiful complexion? Why should the beautiful skin on her belly be hidden from view? She’s got belly. Get over it.

I have to admit, that I am not a fan of flesh popping out of clothing, I am also not a fan of large swaths of gobbly skin showing, or skeleton-like bodies with very little fabric covering them, but that’s just me. Still, that leaves a plethora of different sizes and shapes that are perfectly suitable or even looking damn good in a bikini. Why don’t we just get over the media-fed stereotypical standards and listen to our own hearts?

If you look yummy in that bikini, Goddess, wear it and wear it with pride! Instead of conforming, choose to express a higher level of carefree sensuality that will turn heads in a positive way!

Happy Mother’s Day, and a Simple Treat

Yes, Everybody I know I am a day late! I am a mother though, don’t I get a break? And, this year mother’s day fell on the same day as my daughter’s 10th birthday. I can see it now, many, many years from now when these occasions are merged again, the two of us sipping margaritas on a cruise ship somewhere…

Anyway, I spent most of my day yesterday not waiting for a seat in a noisy, crowded cafe, or suffering through some awful performance. I was lying on the sofa, nice and cozy as sheets of rain fell outside the window. Yeah, Mother’s day MY way!

I found some organic strawberries on sale at the market this week. I try to buy organic strawberries when they are available and when they don’t cost a king’s ransom because they are in the top 5 most heavily pesticide-laden produce items: (peaches, strawberries, apples, spinach, nectarines).

I bought four cartons of organic strawberries. I can’t let those precious berries go bad! We love to make smoothies but I also enjoy them in a strange way that I found in French Women Don’t Get Fat. That is in a dessert dish with balsamic vinegar drizzled on top. It sounded so ridiculous when I read it but the scientific me had to give it a try. It’s actually good! I don’t know how, but the balsamic vinegar enhances the strawberry flavor, seriously. Try it! Now the catch is that you have to use some good quality balsamic vinegar.

Goddess Glossary: Words Every Goddess Should Understand (Warning – Explicit Language)

These are definitions of commonly used and misused words in the American English language. Why is it that so many terms have changed from their original or historical meanings into words that are disparaging to women, and there are no equally negative terms to disparage males? Although word usage does evolve over time, it is fruitless to try and reclaim words that have been used disparagingly. It just never works and exacerbates the problem of the abusive words. The solution is to either return to the original intended use of the word or make the word obsolete by ceasing to use it. As Goddesses, we are required to demand a higher standard of treatment by determining what words are appropriate and rejecting those that are offensive to our divine feminine.

Every Goddess should know what these words mean, when and when not to use them, and when and when not to allow them to be used on them. I encourage commentary and suggestions to add more terms to the glossary.

bitch – a female canine; frequently used as an offensive term for a woman, taken to mean that she is malicious, spiteful, domineering, intrusive, or unpleasant; Generally, this term is used to indicate that the person is acting outside the confines of their gender roles, such as when women are assertive or aggressive, or when men are passive or servile.

cunt – an EXTREMELY abusive, dehumanizing term used to refer to female genitalia, or a woman. Also considered to be the most offensive word in the English language. How is it that the source of life and the object of men’s most desperate desire could be called such a thing?!!! It is NEVER, in any circumstances okay to use this term or allow someone to use it to refer to you or your parts, EVER!

diva – a prima donna; a wannabe Goddess, someone whose ego is overdeveloped and divine spirit is underdeveloped.

divine feminine – sacred female; spiritual power of femininity; womanhood valued.

fuck – general disgust; also used to describe bad or humiliating treatment; derogatory term for sexual intercourse; don’t let anyone fuck you, EVER!

girl – a female child (under age 18 or 21) Girls night out is not for Goddesses.

Gardenhoe

Goddess – a grown and sexy woman; a woman who strives to make informed, conscious choices that benefit her health, beauty, and spiritual wellness.

hoe – a garden tool; nickname for whore; prostitute

pussy – a kitten; a derogatory term for female or slang for female genitalia but sometimes used endearingly–use your discretion here.

Shakti – sacred force, power, or energy is the concept or personification of the divine feminine aspect, sometimes referred to as ‘The Divine Mother’; creative life-force; female spiritual sexual energy; Shakti represents the active, dynamic principles of feminine power.

Yoni – (Hindu) – divine passage; sacred temple (respectfully and lovingly referring to human female genitalia), including its physical form as well as spiritual form.

Sucka MCs Bitin’ my Rhymes, Intellectual Property, WTF!!???

Although I am a sensual Tantric Goddess (and a lawyer too), I still go crazy from time to time. I went stoneSucker MCs Album ballistic this week when I discovered that somebody in Ohio had cut and pasted some of the text directly from my website into some online advertising for her services. The nerve! I slaved and agonized, birthed and edited every little piece of that website until it was to my liking, and along comes a Sucka MC Bitin’ My Rhymes!!! You kids born after the 80’s may not have a clue about Run DMC’s Song about Sucker MCs. Sucka MCs are people who don’t think up their original stuff so they “bite” or copy stuff from us creative folks. I used to beat up my little sister for things like that. I must have a primitive territorial instinct to stop at no violent act to protect my intellectual property. Otherwise I am civilized.

I wanted to get in my car and jack that woman up but instead I took a few Cobra Breaths and decided to take a new approach. Instead of seeking her out like a hound to stomp her face into a greasy pulp on the pavement, I kindly responded to her ad, requesting that she remove the offending text, and I even went a step farther and offered to help her to compose some unique language that more accurately describes her services.

Lo and behold! It worked! No ass-whoopin’, no blood-lettin’, no law suit! I feel happy now.

6 Key Ways to Raise a Strong Goddess: A Parenting Guide

Everyone who is raising a daughter wishes for her to grow up to be happy, healthy, strong, capable, and intelligent. For some these simple tips are common sense. However, sometimes we may slip into the rut of the patriarchal, corporate, shallow aspect of our culture and may temporarily forget the basics of empowerment for young women. No matter, these tips demonstrate simple methods of instilling the very beginnings of honoring the divine feminine in your little girl.

  1. Encourage her to speak with a strong voice from the day she utters her first word. Too many of us have been programmed to be cute rather than to appear smart and powerful. Women and girls who whine, talk like babies, or speak without breathing deeply enough (producing that plastic frog-in-the-throat sound) are often not taken seriously by others or themselves.
  2. Allow her to make her own decisions. This will get her in to the habit of deliberating on what is right for her on her own and prepare her to be a strong-minded adult and help her to become less dependent on external influences as to what she really needs and wants throughout her life.
  3. Listen to what she has to say, and help her to gain the confidence to express herself with ease. The more precisely she is able to communicate with others, the more responsible she will be for the events in her life.
  4. Demonstrate to her how to set personal boundaries, both physical and non-physical (what she will allow others to do and say to her), and honor them. When she is confident in her ability to establish what is right and wrong for herself, she will display the confidence needed to command respect for her boundaries from others. She needs to learn from a very early age that it is completely acceptable to approve of or deny any physical or sexual advances from others. This important concept carries on into her adulthood and make her less likely to become the target of abuse.
  5. Let her experience the consequences of her own actions. Now use common sense, don’t let her get smashed by the truck for running into the street. But experiencing consequences that may be uncomfortable, but not harmful create lasting impressions and teach valuable lessons.
  6. Teach her to always look people in the eye. This helps her to be present with whomever she is interacting with, as well as to command respect from others.

Goddess History – Quick Version

In ancient times, the initial concept of a higher being was feminine. Most societies worshipped the Goddess, the Great Mother, creator, provider, and sustainer. Civilization was matriarchal, however, there is little archaeological evidence that the female members of these societies held themselves superior overVenus von Willendorf their male counterparts. Humankind was in harmony with nature. The women had the common sense not to become drunk with power and abusive. Generally Goddess worship had been balanced with the honoring of both the male and the female.

Eventually, as societies became less agrarian and more technological, the Goddess was replaced with a mighty but wrathful male god figure, and the ensuing cultural programming of patriarchy separated human beings from the biological reality of the natural world. Thus, the masculine attributes of aggression, greed, and hyper-competitiveness became exaggerated and dominant while the feminine characteristics of giving, nurturing and creativity of the species were repressed. As a result, there arose a violent and pathological imbalance in the culture. This was reflected in the devaluation and gross abuse of women in the culture at large, and the replacement of the feminine values of peace and cooperation by that wayward male ego–manifesting itself in excessive competition, domination and needless violence. Over the years, men accumulated power and wealth without giving proper regard to the consequences. People began dying from heart disease and respiratory illnesses, brought on by psycological stress and environmental degradation. Sadly, in this dark age of declining cultural values concepts such as justice, equality, human rights, and common sense disappeared.

We are now into a time where women are reclaiming their rightful place as equals in society. It is our responsibility as worldly Goddesses to restore health, harmony, and respect as the cornerstone of our cultures.