Forget Sex-Positive, Be Sex Neutral

Why must we controversialize everything? I’m just having my morning fruit and yogurt parfait while I read a few blogs this morning and started running across these declarations of “sex positiveness”. Why? If the site is about the joys of sex then we obviously know that it is sex-positive. However, if the site about something like, oh, fat acceptance, then what difference does it make? There is no need be a sex maniac or a prude. I noticed that some peoples’ idea of sex-positive is all freaky, all the time! Beware! That is just yet another smokescreen for and extreme form of our culture’s hypersexualization of everything. Perhaps that is what it should be. For the rest of us ordinary folks who love sensual pleasures in all forms, including but not limited to sex, sex-neutral is more accurate.

In an article for Planned Parenthood on providing sex positive sex education, Lisa Tobin writes that being sex positive includes:

  • Having a comprehensive definition of sexuality
  • Viewing sexual health as a basic human right
  • Focusing on the life-enhancing aspects of sexuality as well as attention to the negative aspects
  • Being non-judgmental and challenging narrow social constructs
  • Using inclusive language rather than value-laden language which makes assumptions based on sexual orientation or gender stereotypes
  • Assisting individuals to be aware of the choices involved in sexual decisions

Sounds pretty neutral to me. Anyway, I am sex neutral. That means all of the above plus I don’t really care whether someone is homosexual, bisexual, heterosexual, transgender, curious, fat and sexy, skinny and sexy, or whatever because it’s not the main idea. Sex neutral just means that there will be no promotion nor condemnation of sexuality. It also means that we treat sexuality like any other thing, without special emphasis. Society at large would be a lot healthier if we all took the sex-neutral approach, especially when it comes to raising our children. Simply by using the proper terms for genitalia, not getting all excited when anything regarding sexuality is mentioned, and without being inappropriate, talking about sex just as ordinarily as we do any other aspect of human life. Just relax already!


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