I’ve been doing some routine research on online business marketing tools for LifeBliss Solutions as business people periodically do. Twitter keeps popping up. I have come so close to signing up for an account just to see how this thing works. Each time I stop just short of putting my name in the box by the notion that there is something inherently amiss with the whole idea that I would give a rat’s ass about what anybody does every moment of the day. I just don’t. I am sure I would not “follow” anyone. Equally amiss would be that I am so narcissistic as to believe anybody in the world wants to latch on to my ass and follow me around for 24 hours of my day, every day. To me this tool seems like something for a bunch of weak losers with low self esteem who need constant reassurance that they are [fill in the blank with worthy, interesting, cool, fabulous, etc.], celebrity groupies, and teenagers.
Who has time to tweet or have their ass twiggled by some random strangers all day long if they are busy living life? You can miss so much of the moment if you are fumbling around with some electronic gadget instead of absorbing all the stimulus in the present moment. And please, nobody write to me claiming that they are “multi-taskers”. Multi-tasking always diminishes the full experience of the moment, PERIOD. When your eyes are focused on a little bitty screen then the beautiful scenery around you is nothing but a sideshow in peripheral vision. While your fingers are busy tippy-tapping on a keyboard, they can not be running through your lover’s hair.
I don’t want to tweet.
8:00 am – I am late, scurrying to the shower
8:01 am – Damn, there’s a pimple on my cheek
8:06 am – Wait, I’ve got to take a crap
8:18 am – Where’s my sock?
8:50 am – Should I have a smoothie or a latte?
WTF!!!!????????? This seems excrutiatingly trite, irritating, and tedious!
I came so close to being converted when I read stories of people increasing web page traffic exponentially with Twitter. So I took another look and read some techie articles to educate myself because boy, would I love to have a million viewers a day to my site. But the idea as I interpret it has been that as a business you can spy on your competitors, which does not appeal to me because my services are so unique and because when you are working from a philosophy of plentitude rather than scarcity it just seems like a waste of my time. I also learned that I can spam my followers to death. Well, Goddesses and potential Goddesses abhor spam, and they are so intelligent that they can spot it a mile away and surely would not encourage spam abuse by spending money on spammer’s products and services. Let’s face it: My name is not Willie Loman and I don’t sell widgets. I don’t have suppliers and secret proprietary potions. LifeBliss Solutions is what it is and that’s that.
The last thing I learned is that Twitter is a great tool for networking with both potential clients and peers and generates word of mouth promotion. Hmm, sounds good, ethical, and not unhealthy to me and holds some promise. Which brings me to the key question: Do Goddesses tweet? Goddesses don’t need to tweet, the same way that we don’t need to wear t-shirts that say “Goddess” on the front. Goddesses are busy, self-assured, taking disposable time to enjoy the present moment i.e. smelling flowers, dancing, riding a bike, reading a book, laughing, admiring art, savoring chocolates, connecting with real interesting humans in real life…etc. Why would a Goddess tweet, when she does not need others to validate her existence? Pray, tell me this so I can confirm once and for all that besides the fact that I won’t like it, that there’s no logical economic reason for me to tweet. I probably will not tweet but I just want to have all the information before I make the final decision.