Tantrikas say, “Delight in the senses and flow with the subtle energies”.
Metaphysical types say, “stay present and don’t judge”.
Psychoanalists say, “feed your inner child”.
But how can we sum all this up for the regular folks?
Just fuck it.
I’ve always lived this way, and sometimes people just didn’t understand. My dad always used to say, “Lisa only does what Lisa wants to do”. I was always baffled by his statement because I thought (but NEVER said) “well, what the hell else should I do?”
I don’t attend baby showers (fuck it, I just go online and send a gift). I don’t buy black pants, even if someone says they slenderize, fuck it, I’ll just be fat. I don’t eat beets and I don’t wear pumps. Why? Because I don’t want to. I don’t stress about how other people say I should raise my child, and I don’t give a rat’s hairy ass if my neighbors think I’m scandalous and I feel good about it.
So, I can’t believe I didn’t come up with the F**K it Way myself. Someone else constructed a philosophy that so succinctly and perfectly sums up how we should be (if we want to). I LOVE LOVE LOVE this so I’m going to share it with you all now.
That brilliant somebody is John C. Parkin. The son of Anglican preachers, realized that saying F**k It was as good as all the eastern spiritual practices he’d been studying for 20 years. Having said F**k It to a top job in London, he escaped to Italy to set up the retreat center The Hill That Breathes, where he now teaches regular ‘F**k It Weeks’ with his wife Gaia.
How F**k It Works, Pt. I: (from the Facebook notes)
You realise that things don’t matter so much after all.
Most of us believe that meaning and purpose in life are good things to have: where the heck would we be without a sense of meaning and purpose for goodness’ sake?
In fact, from a young age we start to pursue meaning – and the bigger MEANING – of life. This process usually culminates at around age 18, late at night, drunk and arguing with other students about The Meaning of Life.
Funny, then, that we get so much relief from saying F**k It to things as adults… given that we usually say F**k It when the things that mean a lot to us have begun to cause us pain. For example, if keeping fit means a lot to you, but the early morning runs or the squeezed-in gym sessions have started to become like torture – then you’d say F**k It and stop training, or do something else.
When we say F**k It, we say ‘Well, it’s causing me so much pain, it’s not that important is it?’.
And as we start to say F**k It to things in our lives, we realise that it’s the things most matter – that mean the most – that either cause us pain or have the potential to cause us pain.
Saying ‘F**k It’ reduces the hold that these ‘meanings’ have on us.
In Buddhist terms, we begin to release our attachments.
And meaning is attachment.
The logical conclusion to this, of course, is that nothing matters, really. And this is a horrifying possibility to most people. It is, after all, the opposite of the purpose/meaning drive that I mentioned earlier… the drive that pushes people through their lives… the drive that takes people from the search for meaning through material things, through love and relationships… and then through the search for ‘spiritual’ meaning.
Very few people get to the perception that ‘nothing matters’… but stopping the relentless search for meaning in its tracks is not a bad idea.
This starts with the perception that ‘meaning’ always has the potential to cause pain. It starts with the perception that most things don’t matter as much as we think they do. It starts with saying ‘F**k It’ to the things that are causing you pain.
When you do this, you start to sense the irresistible whiff of freedom… and that’s a wonderful and addictive thing.